ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
