I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
