i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
