I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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