Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm really into asian looking animals
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
did you just send me my own nude
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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