Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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