Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
