Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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