so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
