I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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