I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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