Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
