That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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