I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
