people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
