I wanna passion pit in your ass
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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