Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
