I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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