i think my tv is drunk
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
