thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
