Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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