then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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