You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I skipped work to stalk him.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
