Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
