You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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