I puked a lego.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
This gyro tastes like lonliness
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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