...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
