love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
