And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Randomize
