I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
