I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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