Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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