Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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