so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I believe in your delicious
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
