Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
