yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I did not marry a roomba.
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