sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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