theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I want to fling myself into the sun
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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