she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
