i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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