I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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