I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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