big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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