okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
