so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
