haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
