We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
