It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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