drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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