...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
