Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
